Organized?

Ok people, this is organized, or as organized as you are gonna get in my house. And you know how long it stayed like this? For about 2 minutes. Every once in awhile, I blow up. Emotional melt down. You'd probably think it was more often, but a few emotional meltdowns ago I went and saw my doctor and cried to him for about an hour before he put me on some meds to help with my anxiety, patience and overall mood. I told my Dr. "I feel like I need to smoke pot." He laughed as I was completely serious. He's always been very attentive to my situation and as in "situation" it means two 3 year olds and a newborn. Asking me how it is going? Do I feel all right? Most of the time I try to keep it together, pretend like I am supermom and say, "Oh, ya I am great!" "This whole motherhood thing is butterflies and rainbows." But the honest to god truth, it's f*&^ing hard. Really really hard.

I seriously feel like all I do is change diapers, clean, clean, clean, laundry, laundry, laundry, cook, cook, cook, yell, and then clean some more. So, when asked today by a mom at gymnastics if I was going to go back to work when the kids are in school? The answer "HELL NO!" I am going to drink my coffee, watch the Today show, take a nice bath, and go to the gym.

Every day I am challenged. I feel like as soon as I get used to dealing with one phase, another starts and I have to learn to conquer that one and so on.....So, now I have my biggest hurdle yet....potty training. My kids have had NO interest whatsoever. But now, with their 3rd birthday only one month away (WTH?? It's been 3 years?) they are starting to FINALLY show interest. So, I am going to roll my sleeves, get the steamcleaner ready, candy bowl filled and get them to go potty in toilet.